Boy or Girl?

I will admit that, up to this week, I have been in complete denial of my pregnancy. How I have managed to do so while carrying around such a protruding belly (I became a lot bigger a lot quicker with this one) I will never know. But it has been my defense mechanism and I have embraced it. But this is the BIG week, the 20 week mark week, the half-way point week, and more importantly the ULTRASOUND week. Yes, we go in tomorrow to find out what "it" is, and maybe the fact that I will no longer call this thing an "it" as of tomorrow has allowed me to come to terms with the fact that I will be a mother of 3.

Anyone who has asked has gotten my opinion that this baby that I am carrying is in fact a boy. I really, really think that it is and I have back-up from Alex who is dying for a baby brother to ride bikes with (where Alex will always win, so he has informed us.) And I take great stock in the fact that most times little kids are right on when determing the sex of their siblings. So, to back Alex and me up, I did what probably every mother-to-be has done before, but what is really my first go at -- I did all the tests to predict the sex of our baby and we'll see who is right.....

The Heart Rate Test:
According to this one, if the mother's heart rate is over 140 then it's a girl. If it's under, than it must be a boy.
***I sat down and took it and what do you know, it's exactly 140 -- what does that mean?!?

The Chinese Lunar Calendar:
Now this is really a science. You determine the mom's age and the month of conception (which was in September, Charles) and then voi⋅là -- I will be having a girl!!


Belly Shape Test:
I actually subscribed to this belief that you can predict the sex by the shape of the belly. If you are carrying low it is supposedly a boy, and if you are carrying high then it is a girl. The problem with this is that I have no idea how I'm carrying. I'm HUGE (at only 20 weeks) so I think I am carrying both high and low. So we'll call the test undeterminable.


The Ring Test:
You know this one. You put your wedding ring on a string and then hold it over the tummy-in- question and watch the ring swing. If it swings in circles it is a boy and if it swings from side-to-side it is a girl. Again, I found discrepancies with this test, as well. If you hold it over your tummy long enough it will move both ways, in circles and sideways. Another undeterminable assessment, but one that I tried to rig by slowing moving my hand in a circular motion.


And now, the DAD's Weight Test:
If he is gaining weight along with the mom, then it is a boy. If he's not, it's a girl. Well, Cory has actually lost weight (which makes me feel even bigger) so I guess that's another vote for a girl.

And then I took a 21 question quiz. Hight-tech stuff with promising results. I mean, what could be more accurate than asking if my feet arre "colder than before pregnancy" or the "same as before" or if my nose has experienced "spreading during the pregnancy?" And then the computer computes for awhile then spits out a percentage. So according to the "Will Your Baby be a Girl or a Boy" quiz, I have a 57% chance of this being a boy and a 42% chance it's a girl. So, although the odds are on my side, it still leaves me a little disconcerted about the reamining 1%.

Well, with all this high-tech stuff and mother's intuition, who need an ultrasound? But, I'll guess we'll keep the appointment anyway. We'll let you know....

HELP!!

No one should ever leave a pregnant woman alone with a dozen doughnuts. I am having serious issues of self control malfunctioning right now. I asked Cory to get me ONE little doughnut last night and, being the over-achiever that he is, he came home with a whole boxful. I keep hiding them from myself, but I keep finding them. And I just found out that the big long one that Cory had dibs on has cream inside -- YUM!! I just took one little bite and now it's halfway gone. I thought that running to write about my weakness just might make me forget how badly I want to finish the entire box. Not working, just one more bite -- gotta go!

The Surgery

Finally, life has reached some semblance of normalcy. Alex went back to school today -- YIPPEE!! As I alluded to in the last entry Alex had a tonsillectomy last Wednesday. I am afraid I was a tad bit too optimistic about this latest surgery. He's had 8 you know -- not tonsillectomies, just total surgeries -- and my little boy has proved to be a fighter and a fast healer. So when the pre-surgery documents said that "recovery from a tonsillectomy lasts from one week to two weeks, depending on the health and age of your child" I, of course, assumed Alex's recovery would be 2 to 3 days. I even assumed he would be back to school last Friday -- only 2 days after the surgery. Funny, funny, joke on me. And everything was manageable until the official caregiver (Dad) went back to school on Tuesday and Alex was NOT any better. In fact, he seemed worse. I even called and insisted on speaking to the surgeon insisting that this recovery was abnormal and Alex was in too intense of pain. I was talked down to and patronized and after the discussion I'm afraid I am officially considered a "high-strung mother." I wouldn't be surprised if that term is entered into Alex's medical file...."cute kid and all, but watch out for his high-strung mother!" (Oh, and did I mention that I ended up on the gurney next to his in the recovery room with an oxygen mask attached to my face? I'll blame it on my condition and the fact that Alex puked up dried blood 5 times. So in the medical file it will probably state "high-strung mother who is a fainter.) But I believe it is all behind us. When Alex woke up today at 9:45 (not a record for him, but a sign of a good catch-up on lost sleep) he had a twinkle in his eye. I was worried that his tonsils were equivalent to Samson's hair and that without them he would never be happy again. He had been moping around the house and staring off into space for the past week. And when he wasn't moping he was crying out in pain or mad with frustration. But the twinkle is back, he did great at school, and he is back to his old tricks of coming up with every excuse not to go to bed at this very moment. Another milestone in Alex's health saga has been reached. Hey, by the time he reaches adulthood we could have almost every part of his body removed or replaced at this rate.

Singing Praises

So Cory has read many a blog where wives rave about their husbands. You know, "the top 10 reasons why my husband is better than yours." Or the "100 different reasons I love my hunkie hubbie" lists. I know he doesn't expect (or desire) anything so extravagant to come from the thoughts in my head -- there's not much more he can expect when my term of endearment for him is "dude" -- but I think he would be satisfied if I would only start singing his praises and not his blunders every now and then. Well, hold on to your hat, dude....

What my "dh" (that's geek-speak for darling husband) has accomplished in his 5 week break from school:

• packed and unpacked our teeny car 4 times for our many adventures this vacation which required detailed planning and knowledge of physics to accomplish
• put together bunkbeds for the kids -- hello, play area in their room
• cooked dinner more than he ever has in the history of our marriage. And not just any dinner -- a follow the recipe, run to the Chinese market, borrow oyster sauce from Korean neighbor, improvise with different meats found in the freezer dinner. Best chow mein ever!
• Took the kids to the park almost every sunny afternoon
• Picked up Alex from school
• And the biggest thing -- took over as caregiver for our post-surgery Alex. Which included an administration of post-surgery-induced constipation requiring enema of said child at 1:00 in the morning last night.
• Slept with needy and snoring-more-than-ever-even-though-that's-why-he-got-his-tonsils-out-in-the-first-place Alex, so I could get some rest.

And he did this all while writing almost 15 resumes for his summer internship, reading crazy-boring economic books, and obsessively scanning/organizing all of our household paperwork. What a vacation!

Since his second semester resumes on Tuesday, it's going to be an adjustment becoming a single-parent again (we all know how Cory gets when school is in session.) I guess I'll have to say "goodbye" to my running afternoon errands by myself and the daily naps that my body has adjusted quite nicely to. Thanks a ton, Dude!!

*** on a personal note for those who are wondering: I am almost 19 weeks pregnant and no, I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, but I'll go on record to report that I think it's a boy. Also, one day I might get around to posting pictures of our fabulous Christmas and trip to Disneyland, but don't hold your breath.

Happy New Year!

All my family is busy playing a new round of the game BLOKUS and I have escaped to the back bedroom/converted office. I am not a fan of games that don't require much interaction. In fact, I prefer games where the whole object of the game is to interact. Games that require a long duration of stratagem leave me bored and frustrated within the first 5 minutes. I want a game where my whit and charm are assets, not distractions. Someone said we were going to play "4 Men on a Couch" and then nothing happened. So I came to the place where my occasional bouts of whit and charm are actually appreciated by you, my cyberspace audience. Lately I haven't felt witty nor charming, so that would be the real reason I haven't written in a while. In fact, I think the term to express my current state of mind is "cranky-tired" a term used most often to describe an overstimulated toddler, but is, in fact, a true description of my current self.

So, on to more pressing matters.... HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Here we are in the midst of about to be 11 cranky-tired kids (which would be another reason I have escaped to the back bedroom) trying to bring this new year in right. And this little bit of quiet time has caused me to reflect on the past year and all our accomplishments:

• We moved 3 times in 4 months -- a feat I wouldn't wish on anyone
• We were homeless the whole month of July -- which made moving into our teeny, minuscule new abode a little less foreboding
• Claire somehow potty trained herself in the midst of all the chaotic moving -- and anyone who knows my history with potty-training our Alex knows that I had no hand in this accomplishment
• Alex started kindergarten -- finding a new passion for letters, numbers, and, of course, Monarch butterflies
• We made the metamorphosis from a normal, job-holding, income making, two car, medically insured family into the new unemployed, full-time student, one car, state funded insured family
• Cory thrived and the rest of the family survived the first semester of graduate school
• Cory found a passion for rugby and mass transit transportation
• Kelli has actually seen the light in the advantage of getting 5 loads of laundry done at one time

I remember coining the phrase "We'll do great in 2008" at this time last year and now I know that was way too high an expectation. I am glad to say I feel less pressure with the new phrase "We'll be fine in 2009!" I think we can accomplish "fine." "Fine" is right up my alley.

So our goals in 2009, you ask? Well, without consulting any member of my family, here are my projected goals for them:

Claire: Learn to be a more independent girl so she can be a BIG help and be more willing to share her "momma"

Alex: Learn to be a little more self-entertained and not so much of a bullying big brother

Cory: Find a great internship this summer that won't take him too far from home and will also allow him to take some time off, especially in the month of June

Kelli: Stop being so cranky-tired -- I am in my second trimester after-all. Yes, baby #3 is on its way!

Surprise!!

Next Week Will Be Better, Right?

It is almost midnight in the land of destitute abyss. I haven't seen a living soul outside of my family in over 36 hours. And when your family is either A) studying for finals B) hacking up what sounds like a hair ball or C) just getting over pink eye/dripping green ooze from her nose/throwing sleep-deprived tantrums -- it isn't necessarily fun. I actually got a nap in today. Thank you, Cory, for doing the impossible task of putting in a movie, falling asleep on the couch for 4 hours, and letting the kids run rampant so "Mom could have a little rest." I did manage to grab a 45 minute snooze before Claire came in to my darkened bedroom to first, hand me her stuffed dog so I could "sleep better" and next, to hand me her yellow Snow White underwear that she couldn't quite manage to get back on by herself. But, a nap is a nap, so I cannot for the life of me fall asleep right now. I know the consequences of taking more than a 15 minute "power snooze" and, like most Sunday nights, I either stay awake "working" on the computer, watch late night TV, or simply take a Tylenol PM that lulls me into a land of blinking lights and crazy dreams for 8 hours. I don't feel like being drugged up tonight and my last week's experience of watching "Sophie's Choice" (the most depressing of movies I have ever encountered at 2:00 a.m.) has left me wary of Turner Classic Movies. So, I find myself here "working." I don't have the energy to find my camera to download pictures of Nana and Papa's visit last weekend, so you'll have to deal with my rants of this week.

And what a week it has been. The weather was beautiful the week before, really. All you needed was a jacket and to not stand in the shade to be comfortable. But the weather has taken a turn for the worst. I blame all of my family's sickness on our brisk late morning walk to school last Monday. The wind was howling and we had to walk with our heads down and bodies leaning forward into the wind just to get there. I envisioned my little family as pioneers crossing the plains and know for a fact that I would not have made it. I would have made a bee-line for any place warmer and probably settled in the south where they sat on their porches drinking mint-juleps and complaining of the humidity. (I've watched Gone With the Wind.) The Lord certainly knew what he was doing when he made me born in this time period of air-conditioning and heat and portable DVDs. (Sorry, I tend to ramble when I'm tired and have no purpose in writing.) Back to the weather.... It's COLD!! I think the weatherman even used the term "blustery" to describe it and there have been reports of snow in the Bay Area. I keep reminding myself that we could be in Michigan or New Hampshire and I say a little prayer of thanks. Well, the snot from Claire started running on Tuesday and then the pink eye was discovered on Wednesday. We were immediately quarantined (okay, I'm exaggerating -- Claire just couldn't play with her friends for a while and we are lucky that the dreadful eye disease did not spread to any other member of the family.) But, just as Claire started to feel better and (maybe the term should be she looked less contagious) Alex starts this hacking thing on Saturday afternoon. Now the only way to describe this cough is to say that it is a steady, unalterable, monotonous tickle that sounds like he has hair caught right in the back of his throat. This isn't a new cough, we just haven't heard it since he got his adenoids taken out 2 years ago. And it is unstoppable. No drug can penetrate it, no amount of steam from the shower can defy it. It just keeps on coming. So, last night we missed the ward Christmas party where Alex was to play a shepherd, we stayed up all night comforting the tired-of-hacking child, and today we missed church. At least 3 of us did. And with the rain coming down, the wind gusting, and no sign of the sun, it feels like a ghost town in our little student housing village. Hence the "destitute abyss." But, with the advice from a friend, we gave Alex some chamomile tea with honey, borrowed a working humidifier, and rubbed him all over with Vicks. He happens to be sleeping at this moment. I don't know if it is the combination of treatments or the fact that the tickle in his throat got as tired as he is, but he's asleep. And things are looking brighter....

Maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to venture outside of our 1002 sq ft tomorrow. We're out of toilet paper and eggs, so one way or another I'm going to see a real human being. Maybe the cashier at CostCo would like to join me for a hot dog value meal and a slushie so I can get some adult conversation in....

Our own Thanksgiving Story

This Thanksgiving we found ourselves more in common with the original Thanksgiving story (meaning the pilgrims and the Indians) than we have in years past. So join with me now as we put our own twist on the customary Thanksgiving story.


We the Wiltbanks, hereafter referred to as the Pilgrims, were a wandering and lost group in our new land. Aboard our teeny red Hyundai, we have traveled far to escape the persecutions of unaffordable housing and glass-ceiling jobs to gain a higher education (so hopefully we can afford any dang house we want) and have landed on Berkeley Rock in the fall of 2008. Although this new life is full of bright prospects and new opportunities, the Pilgrims felt slightly lonely and farther away than ever from the comforts of their homeland -- be it Arizona or San Diego.


As with all Thanksgiving stories, there are the kind and helpful Indians. Enter the Nicolaysen Family in our little story. As with our earlier counterparts, the earlier settlers (us) would not have made it the first year without the generosity of the Nicolaysens who, although not related to us (and not even slightly Indian) they are just like family. The feast was arranged to commemorate the 4 months of us simply "making it through." And it consisted of all the traditional foods: turkey (soaked in brine to bring out the best possible flavor), stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, and green jello salad -- all of which was not made by a single pilgrim. Mother Pilgrim (me) did, however, bring a humble offering of home made rolls, which I must admit turned out well.

Not only did the Indians in our story provide us with a bounteous meal, the Nicolaysens opened their doors to us where we spent a blissful 3 days in the comforts of a real home. We, the Pilgrims, were amazed at all the luxuries at our fingertips: the guest room was literally the size of our apartment, there was a fully-equipped and stocked kitchen, and there was a lovely downstairs theater room that was the gathering spot for the children when they were not playing dress-up (Claire) or kung-fu masters (Alex.)

No wonder Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! Food, food, and more food, accompanied with good friends and my own little family. Some how I don't think Thanksgiving would have been quite as lovely if I had attempted to cook a turkey myself or if it were spent in the confines of our already cramped and much too familiar abode.

Thank you, thank you, Nicolaysen Family!!

I will quote the not so famous words of Abraham Lincoln in his Thanksgiving Proclamation:

"[All our blessings] are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union."

AMEN