The Challenge:

Ultimate Objective: Lose the 20 pounds of remaining baby weight

Highest priority: Fit back into non-elastic waisted pants

Target Date: 2 months ago

Amended target date: 2 months from now

Strategy 1: Enroll in Weight Watchers exactly 6 weeks postpartum

Strategy 1 Outcome: Lost 10 pounds in one month -- impressive, yes, but still have 20 to go

Strategy 2: Cancel Weight watchers and put money towards gym membership

Strategy 2 Outcome: Gained 3 pounds back while examining options of local free elliptical machine, joining the YMCA, or ordering the P90X videos

Strategy 3: Free one week trial membership at 24 hour fitness with the intention of going everyday of the week

Outcome A: I can't lift my arms past my head after the tricep-pushups in the Pilates class

Outcome B: Pulled a hamstring and remembered I have bad knees after the 20 minute run on the treadmill

Outcome C: I need a donut to sit on after the Spin class I took this morning where I actually threw up (in my mouth!) during the intense workout

Note: It is only day 3 of my 6 day challenge

Strategy 4: Give people something else to notice besides my rather rotund figure

Outcome: Go dark! I'm serious this time!

THINGS THAT ACTUALLY CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH TODAY

It all started with:

"What do you mean you can't eat your cereal without a spoon? Just grab one out of the drawer. Oh, every piece of silverware we own is in a dirty heap in the sink? I'll get right on that."

"Sure, we'd love to go to the zoo with you today. Sure I can be ready in 45 minutes." (Which I was but that meant leaving behind baby Bradley's adorable safari hat and the Sit 'N Stand stroller that I couldn't figure out how to close.)

"Be a good example and stop playing with the garbage can." (To Alex)

"The lions will not kill you." (Again, to Alex who insisted that he couldn't go to the zoo because the lions would eat him.)

"Where are your shoes?!? YOUR SHOES!! Why can't you ever find your *&^^&% shoes?!? Oh, here they are!" (To Claire with all the fury I could muster until I tripped over them in the exact place I had left them. Sorry!)

"Hold still while I put on your sunscreen." (At the Oakland Zoo)
"Hold still while I zip up your jacket." (Back home with the bay breezes. It's crazy that I actually have to say that in August.)

"Please stop yelling. The chimpanzees are very sensitive to noise."

"You really think that goat looks like me? Well, thanks." (I was raised on goat's milk, after all. So, it figures.)

"I'M GOING TO PULL THIS CAR OVER RIGHT NOW IF YOU WON'T STOP FIGHTING BACK THERE!!! Well, maybe we'll wait until the next exit. Well, maybe we'll wait until we're not in scary downtown Oakland. Well, YOU GUYS JUST WAIT 'TIL WE GET HOME!!!"

"Is that POOP on my pants?!?!" (After a major baby blowout)

"Oh, look, you can scoot your little bottom around to get poop all over the bathroom floor. Mommy's so proud." (To baby Bradley -- pretty good for a 2 month old. I was genuinely impressed.)

"Here's a bag of gummy worms. Now go and play and leave Mom alone." (To my 2 oldest)

"If you spit at me one more time you will not play outside for the rest of the day!" (To my sweet Claire after 2 consecutive timeouts. Sadly, she did NOT play outside for the rest of the day. More of a punishment for me than for her, I will admit.)

"Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have put that whole Serrano chili into our dinner." (As everyone but me cried, begged for water, and claimed their lips were on fire. What sissies!!)

"No, I'm not going to make you something else for dinner. Just eat some more watermelon."

And just a few moments ago:
"Guys, I'm done. Just GO TO SLEEP!!"

By Popular Demand

I am posting just pictures of our new little guy without my usual colorful commentary. But, believe me, this new life of mine is very colorful so I'll have plenty to share. I just have to find the energy first.

I am a mother of three...

but for the past 13 days I have had the luxury of being alone with our newest and youngest. (We had Alex and Claire shipped off for "summer camp" with the grandparents in good ol' Arizona. And although having to endure the desert heat for 13 days sounds like torture for me, they were both thrilled to go and they have had a fabulous time. Thanks again, Marmie & Bapa and Papa & Nana!!) But tonight they come home and the peace and tranquility that Baby Bradley and I have enjoyed is about to come to an end. Now real life as a mother of three is about to begin. But I am well rested (thanks to a daily regimen of 2 naps), I am recovered (I have kicked the Percocet habit I was about to form), and Bradley and I have figured out each others' rhythms. His: eat, poop, sleep, poop, cry, poop. And mine: feed him, pump, change him, pump, stuff some peanut M&Ms in my mouth, pump, and repeat. It's a nice system we have going and things will definitely be rearranged when the 2 older siblings return.

Thanks again, Marmie, for taking 2 kids, 2 carseats, and too much responsibility on a 2 hour airplane trip. It was the most daring of tasks for even the most seasoned of mothers. You win the award!!

Happy Birth Day!

I had remembered the afflictions that accompany childbirth. I anticipated the pain and the agony, my uncontrollable shaking on the operating table, the vomiting, the tenderness of my incision and the inability to laugh, cough, or sit up without the ache in my abdomen. I was ready for the challenges that a newborn brings -- the tears and the screams, the sleepless nights, and the knowledge that I know nothing. But I wasn't ready for the joys. In all my preparations for this birth day I had somehow forgotten the gladness that comes with the griefs. Hearing my little boy's cry for the first time that brought tears to my own eyes, the sweet, sweet face that seemed to automatically accept and trust me so willingly, the smell of his skin that smells oh so baby-ish even before his first bath or his first douse of baby lotion. I have experienced a gamut of emotions in these last 3 days. But the most prevalent of which is pure joy and gratitude for the new little angel that has come to our family. Welcome to the world, Baby Boy!

Bradley Charles Wiltbank

June 10, 2009

8:10 am

7 lbs 13 oz

19.69 inches

Nesting is for the Birds

16 days and counting until our new little guy joins our family. The fact that 2 people in our ward and another kindergarten mom all due after me have already given birth to their babies have left me feeling quite over-ripe. But even though I am no longer sleeping and I can hardly walk across our bite-sized apartment without getting winded, there is something to say about how much easier a baby is to take care of inside one's body than outside of it. But the crib is up, the bedding is on, the onsies have been washed, and the necessities have been supplied. All we need is Baby Buster to complete the picture. And although all appears to be ready it was not an easy task to get to this point. I am not a nester, never have been. I have heard the folklore of the rush of energy that comes to expectant mothers that drives them to heights of organization and craftiness, but in my experience it is just folklore. And if I had not had my early signs of labor there is no way my hormones would have kicked in on their own to create what is now in the baby's room. It was sheer panic that a new human being belonging to me will need a place to set up camp that allowed me to get as far as I have in my preparations. And although I might think we are fully prepared, I know there will be those late a night runs to Target and Walgreen's that will supply the rest of what I have forgotten. What!?! no rubbing alcohol for the obligatory umbilical cord wipe down? Run to Walgreen's. What?!? the blow up baby bathtub I purchased is pink? Exchange it at Target. What?!? no chocolate to get me through the late nights and the endless days? Run to Costco for a vat of peanut M&M's. Now we're talking.

And I know you've all been dying to see just how big I got with this here pregnancy:

Oh, wait a second -- that's not me. It's just how I feel these days. But in all fairness to this beautiful manatee, I feel more like a beached whale.

There I am at 36 weeks. Don't let the cheesy perma-grin fool you.... my feet ache, my knees creak when I walk, I have sciatica, my diaphragm is so scrunched up I can't get a lung-ful of air, I have long since abandoned my wedding ring due to swollen knuckles, the acid reflux is nauseating, these are the only pants that I can fit into, and if you make me laugh or cough or sneeze I'll have to change into my red snowflake pajamas -- isn't pregnancy beautiful?

And for all those natural birdies out there who build and primp their nests with or without a helpful dose of hormones, just picture how much more difficult it is for those of us beached whales who struggle through all the blubber to even get to the tree. We do what we can.

A Whole Lot of Nothing Going On

I put myself on self-inflicted bed rest today which was only made possible by a very good neighbor and friend who endured the company of my very demanding 3 year old. But it is now 9:30 at night and I am finally getting a burst of energy. Maybe not a burst, more like a drizzle. So, I thought I would make use of it and write. Cory has long gone to bed after hours of studying today and with 6 1/2 hours worth of finals to take tomorrow. Which is why I put myself on bed rest -- I cannot have this baby during finals week! It would be a little ahead of schedule but quite possible. We had a little preterm labor scare last week, on the night of our 9th anniversary to be exact. We spent it in the labor and delivery department where I was given a shot to stop some mild contractions that were coming 4 minutes apart. (It was actually quite a lovely night --the kids were being taken care of and we even stopped and got McFlurries on the way home. I consider that an official date.) So when I awoke this morning feeling nauseous and more uncomfortable than usual I didn't want to take any chances. Feet up, lie on left side, don't let the kids' constant fighting get my blood pressure up, hydrate, get my insurance mix-up settled so I can have this child without him having to become an indentured servant to the state, read a book, stop watching "A Baby Story" on TLC because that is starting to freak me out, accept help from neighbor instead of sentencing Claire to a day-long sitting in front of the TV, mediate a raucous game of "5 Little Monkeys" from the couch when Alex gets home from school, and pray Cory gets home before bedtime. That is all I accomplished today. Not bad. But the drizzle of energy has dwindled. It's time for some more bed rest -- hopefully accompanied by at least 7 hours of sleep this time.